7 Self-care Tips that will change your life

Do you feel like you’re just going through the motions of day to day life? Feel lost and out of control? Do you want to feel full of life again? I will not tell you that you can feel like the person you once was but I can tell you that with these 7 self-care tips you will feel better than you ever have.

Self-care is not always about working out or eating healthy even though these are amazing things to do for yourself. A lot of times women run to this because we think that once we work out and eat right that will make us happy when we look the way we think we want to look. We are so guilty of doing it for the WRONG reasons.

We do such a horrible job of loving ourselves. We are so consumed with self-loathing that is nothing but unhealthy and unproductive. All we do is judge ourselves harshly and we need to stop. God loves us and forgives us no matter what, we need to start doing the same. We need to learn to do things that make us feel good because we LOVE ourselves not because we hate what we look like or feel like at the time.

Everyday self care looks different. Be easy on yourself.

Find what feels good and do it because you LOVE yourself. If you do not get anything from this post. I pray that you at least remember this point.

You know, theres a huge correlation between our ability to love ourselves in a healthy way and our ability to love those around us. I know that our kids are our lives and we want to give them the world. But, what does this leave us with Momma, if you continue to forget about yourself, you are going to feel like nothing most days. As I said in my previous post How to start your journey to self discovery after having a baby, you cannot pour from a cup without refilling it momma. 

So here are 7 Self Care tips that will make you feel alive again:

• Accept yourself where you stand

• Gratitude

• Discover the little joys

• Dive into your spirituality

• Communicate

• Connect with others

• Commit to yourself

 I know that these are very broad but bare with me. Self-care looks different for everybody but all lead back to these 7 tips.

I did not learn any of this until I was going through the hardest times in my life. Many times it takes hard times to finally end up in a good place. Every day is obviously not going to be the best day but once I started putting these 7 self care tips to work life changed for me AND my family for the better.

When you take care of yourself you reap the benefits in every area of your life.

So let’s get into it already!

Accept yourself where you stand

I need you to realize right now momma that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful and made with purpose. Once you accept this you are ready to move on to taking care of yourself and discover your purpose.

It always starts with accepting where you are now. Loving yourself in the place that you are now and make changes because you love yourself and not because you hate yourself.

This is everyday work. Many moms struggle with body image and sense of self. So everyday when you see yourself in the mirror tell yourself that you are beautiful and that you have purpose. Even if you do not believe it, SAY IT, because one day you will believe it and your life will be changed for the better because of it.

I actually put a bunch of sticky notes on my bathroom mirror because I know I will be faced with them every day, multiple times a day. They say things like “Do it because you love yourself and no other reason”. “Love yourself in every season because God does”. “I love me and most importantly God loves me; SAY IT!”. Put these notes in places where you will be faced with them often.

Everything is mind of matter. So once you win the mental battle everything falls into place.

Gratitude

“Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette

Have you ever noticed that when you are having a great day and then all of a sudden something crappy happens and your amazing day some how seems to turn into the worst day? Ooorr, one day you wake up to something crappy and that somehow turns your whole day sour? Why do we as humans hold on to the negative and forget all the moments that made the day great? It makes no sense sometimes!

Let’s try to wake up each morning with grateful thoughts. Cut out any thoughts that are negative or include your todays “to do” list. It amazing the changes that happen when we focus on the positive for once. Many people journal first thing in the morning, others like myself, just lay in bed and meditate on all of the things that I am grateful for that day.

If you like to journal and think that it would be the most impactful to you, I linked one that I like the most, here.

Discover the little joys

Discover the little things that bring you joy and keep note of them because as our lives change, so do the things that bring us joy. Continue to figure out these things because they make a difference.

Before my child was born I loved to read books, hang out with my friends, go out dancing and do yoga dumb early in the morning, which feels almost impossible now a days. Currently, taking a long hot shower and doing a super long and in depth beauty care routine. Seeing my friends once in awhile, going on family walks, any family activities, reading, working on my blog, waking up at least 30 minutes earlier than my family to take time to drink my coffee and spend time in the word. All of these things I have discovered bring me some type of joy.

Figure out what brings you joy and do it as often as you can.

Dive into your Spirituality

Spirituality looks different for many people. For me, spirituality is feeling connected to my faith and spending time with the Lord.

Going through the rough patch in my life is when I realized that I really need God to be happy and that is where my faith grew.

God does not put us in these predicaments but he loves when we are in them because he finally has a way to reach you and show you how much he really loves you and will do for you.

In this aspect self care looks like:

• Waking up before my family and spending time in the scripture; When I study the bible I like to write and draw directly on the pages so I use the NLT reflections bible. I got myself and my husband one for Christmas a couple years ago and we absolutely love it.

  I linked it here, just in case you were interested! :)

• Praying in every season and for every reason

• Listening to the gospel music in all its forms like christian rap, yes there is more than just church music! I listen to gospel music at least 95% of the time now and it has made the biggest difference.

• Pray for myself, my partner, and my children

Communicate

I cannot say enough that communication is key!

It may not always be the easiest thing but it makes all the difference. Communicate your needs and desires to your partner or your family.

If you need time alone, communicate it.

If you do not like something or you absolutely love something, communicate it.

As close to your family as you may or may not be, nobody can you read your mind.

My husband and I used to live in silence so many times whenever we would disagree about something and I swear to this day that silence is what killed our relationship at the time.

Now we communicate how we feel when we can clearly speak our minds and not just emotions and then move on with life because the day is so much better when you are not still mad about the misunderstanding that happened that morning. Your mental health is not worth it AT ALL!

Connect with others

First things first, I do not care what any body says, I believe that we never created or intended to be alone, in solitude.

We were meant to be in relationship with others, whether that is your siblings, parents, friends, significant others, a stranger!

Connection with others makes a world of a difference! Even if we struggle to trust people or connect with them, theres always something inside of us that is yearning to meaningfully relate to other people.

It can be so mentally debilitating being in solitude!

Good friends better each other in a million ways. In a time of hardship and depression, connection can really help us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Connecting with others can keep us grounded.

Commit to yourself

Last but of course not lease, commitment. I definitely can say that I need to work on this myself. I constantly find myself starting to do things for myself but then soon enough it fades away.

It is hard, why? I wish I knew!

But I do know, that I am going to continue to work on it and so should you because we are worth all of the love in this world. We can do steps 1-6 and see a change but it will only be temporary without step number 7.

So let’s do ourselves a favor. Let’s start committing to loving ourselves the way be deserve to be loved.

I am always here to cheer you on!

So much love,

Ki’ari

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyle and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”. 1Peter 3:3-4