Taking Over Postpartum Depression
You gave me joy for mourning
Now hope is my testimony
Post Partum Depression AKA “The Thief That Steals Motherhood”
A chemical imbalance, a state of mind, the devil, depriving women of the joy that new life brings…
That definitely seems like a devil move to me!
Post Partum Depression (PPD) is described as moderate to severe depression occurring during the first year after birth and within the first 3 months (Hutchens & Kearney, 2020).
An estimated 13% to 19% of childbearing women will experience PPD, making it the most common morbidity related to childbirth. That means about 520,000 to 760,000 women suffer PPD EVERY YEAR! (Hutchens & Kearney, 2020).
I, Ki’ari, am part of the 13-19% of women that have played a victim to postpartum depression and anxiety.
Like me, you are not alone in your battle. There is someone who understands you! There is a God that knows your heart and completely understands you without you needing to try to explain.
First, I want you to know that he cares deeply for you and wants to be the source of your joy.
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love”. -Romans 8:38 NLT
First Thing
The first thing to do for yourself is claim the Lord’s promises to you! He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He promises peace, joy, and everlasting love.
Tell yourself everyday, over and over as many times as you need to, “I AM NOT MY ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, IT WILL NOT HOLD ME!”
Give It All To God
Everyday I cried. Everyday I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everyday I felt like less than enough. I snapped constantly. I couldn’t think clearly. I wanted to do everything for my son because I felt that was all I was good for, if that!. I had to leave the room if someone tried to care for my son because I wanted to scream and cry. I did not know why I felt the way I did. I did not understand it. I looked at my husband like he was my enemy. I gave him the worst version of me, I blamed him. Nobody understands me and I can’t conjure up the words to try to explain myself. I prayed and prayed for God to stop everything, it was becoming too much. I was in a deep black hole that I could not see a way out of. I was broken.
That's where I was less than two years ago.
“Cast All your anxiety onto him because he cares for us” - 1 Peter 5:7
Mama, you do not need to hold on to all of that hurt and anxiety, give it to GOD because he does not want that for you. Do it for YOU!
It takes time but you will make it out. God has an everlasting abundance of love, strength, courage, and joy that you can forever draw from.
Do Something For You!
You are more than a mom, a daughter, a sister, a wife, you are YOU! So do the things that make you feel good. Do it because you love yourself. Start small because I know it is hard.
Give yourself the love and attention that you give your children. I started with long hot showers at night after putting my son to sleep. It became my thing. My relaxation, my self-love time.
Get Outside, the fresh air seems to have a soothing effect on the mind.
Don’t feel bad for taking your child to a safe place so that you can breathe. God gave us breath for a reason, it has healing properties.
Don’t give yourself a hard time because you did not have the energy to cook, clean, or give your husband attention.
Those around you benefit the most when you are taken care of.
Once a week, if you can, start your day the way that you want to.
My favorite kind of mornings include, a spot on the couch by the window, silence, a hot cup of coffee, and getting some real time spent with the Lord and his word.
Get the Help You Need
First off, it is okay to take medicine to help get a leg up.
I hated the thought of needing any medication but I was so tired, burnt out, sick of feeling the way I was, I needed help. It is not a permanent solution, it's just meant to be a stepping stool.
Talk to someone about what is going on physically, emotionally, and mentally because it has the potential to make a difference.
Celebrate The Little Wins
Depressed or not, everyday is not always going to go as planned but those hard days tend to hit much harder when you are depressed.
Trust me, I understand!
Recognizing your little wins can be a very powerful weapon against depression’s negativity.
Know that just because today was not the best, does not mean that tomorrow will be the same.
Be proud of yourself for every little goal that you accomplish and watch how far you go!
Remind Yourself
You are not alone.
You are enough.
You are not your anxiety and depression.
You are deeply loved and cared for.
This is not the end.
Great is God’s faithfulness.
There is no emptiness that he will not fill.
So Much Love,
Kiari
From The Ashes You Make Beautiful Things
References
Hutchens, B.F. and Kearney, J. (2020), Risk Factors for Postpartum Depression: An Umbrella Review. Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health, 65: 96-108. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmwh.13067