How to start your journey to self discovery after having a baby
The first step to self-discovery after becoming a mom is to know that you are enough. To tell yourself everyday that you are enough until you whole-heartedly believe it.
First steps are always the hardest but are always the most life-changing.
I know what it feels like to feel lost just wanting to feel like myself again. The truth is that we will never be our old selves again but is that so bad. We are going to discover the best versions of ourselves, but first to start this journey, read the letter.
A letter to all Mothers
Am I a good mother? Am I being a good wife? Friend? Sister? Am I doing enough? All questions that constantly went through my head. I am Ki’ari. A first time mother to my sweetest boy who will be two in December. You know, the love that a mother and her child have is so unique, beautiful, and inexplicable. You know, so many people make it seem like becoming a mother is the most beautiful and smooth sailing thing in the world. Do not get me wrong; motherhood is beautiful. Yet, nobody tells you about how it can drain you, crush you down into little bitty pieces, and put you in the darkest of dark places. Nobody tells you that when you look in the mirror, you are not going to recognize the woman looking back at you. Everything seems so foreign. Life is not recognizable and that is the darkest part. All you know is that life changed drastically, you feel so lost, and have no time or space to hide from it all. You have to be there for this new baby and the husband that you have had no desire to look at. The craziest part is that eventually you find out that you are not the only one going through this and that it is actually quite normal to go through a period of darkness after having a baby. Most importantly you come to find out that you actually are not alone.
Now let’s ask ourselves those same questions again. Am I a good mother? Yes you are a wonderful mother Ki’ari. Am I a good wife? Yes, you are an amazing wife Kiari! Am I doing enough? Yes, you are always enough and doing enough Kiari. Now I need you, the mom reading this, to know that you are always enough too. You know how you are a great mother? You are a great mother because you show up everyday for your family and do nothing but the best that you can. But it is important to know that you can only give your family as much as you give yourself! Remember that! Also, remember that God loves you. We do not have to be perfect because he already is. Jesus says that you are a child of God. You ever wonder where this love that we have for our children comes from? Nothing comes from nothing. Matthew Kelly, author of Rediscover Jesus: An Invitation, describes it best, “You see, if I can love my children the way I do — and I am wounded, imperfect, and broken — imagine how much God the Father loves us” , his child. Our value does not comes from the things that we do but who we are and we are children of God. Just keep pushing mom. Keep leaning. You are not alone. You are loved. You are infinitely valuable. Most importantly, you are a child of God. I really want you to take this to heart.
Join me in rediscovering love.
Love your friend, Ki’ari
If you choose to read Matthew Kelly’s Rediscover Jesus: An Invitation Below is the Link: